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Morning, everyone😊

Atheists are more peaceful than Hindus, Christians, Jews, and Muslims.

Therapist: How are you feeling today? Me: Hungry and horny. In that order

Imagine being in bed with a guy, and he tells you to say his name and his name is Bartolomeo

Religion has killed more people than any disease

The phrase “Wisdom has been chasing you but you have always been faster” has never been so relevant

I don’t chase. I trap and tie up

When I buy something expensive and they actually take the money, I get offended. That’s who you’re dealing with

“What do you do for fun?” I watch porn and insert things in my vagina, Ethan

On a serious note, why are the immigrants being arrested, but the people hiring them to work are free? They’re breaking the law by hiring undocumented workers

My Twitter experience consists of talking shit and muting racists all day

What they really mean is: Will knock you out, will make you taste colors and possible brain damage

Saw a chihuahua wearing a turtleneck sweater today. Trying to blend in. Nice try illegal

I don’t have room in my life for anyone who is not 100% about me. You’re either all in or be gone! That’s for partners but also for friends and family too

me: I have a bunch to get done today also me: [wakes up early and sits outside with coffee all morning]

Happy Friday weirdos! Don’t forget that whatever you need you know you can always count not on me

Me in 2015 vs me in 2025

You guys should start acting more mature. I mean… I won’t. But this isn’t about me

Trying to find out if we’re going to war to figure out if I pay my bills or not

Hi, I’m a Twitter user, you might know me from such hits as “I hate this place” and “I’m never leaving.”