Why does Paul Atreides prefer Christmas pudding to Yule Log? It contains more spice #GoldCrackers

Why did Santa struggle to deliver presents to the Bridgerton family? They weighed a Ton #GoldCrackers

What’s the difference between Santa’s sleigh and an ambulance? One is a mythical form of transport people believe will show up one day, and the other is pulled by reindeer. #GoldCrackers

What do you get when you cross the Chancellor of the Exchequer with a Christmas tree branch? Rachel Wreaths #GoldCrackers

What’s the difference between Santa’s sleigh and Ticketmaster? Only one of them crashes at their busiest time #GoldCrackers

Why is Santa unable to get down some people’s chimneys? Because Ed Davey is already trying to do it #GoldCrackers

Why do Kate Middleton’s Christmas photos look a bit odd? She used Snowtoshop #GoldCrackers

What are private schools putting up for Christmas? A V.A.Tree #GoldCrackers

What are all the MPs who lost their seats this year getting for Christmas? A Deselection box #GoldCrackers

Why is the Netflix Christmas party in spring? They cancel everything after the first season #GoldCrackers

What do Plymouth Argyle fans sing at Christmas? A Wayne as a manager #GoldCrackers

In response to alarmingly low levels of reading enjoyment in children, we are launching the Action! Prize 💥 We are calling for filmic and action-packed adventure stories, with three winners receiving a publishing contract. thebookseller.com/news/faber-and…

Really wanted to see Alice Lowe's Timestalker but it already seems to be out of cinemas - am I out of touch or do films really just disappear in a couple of weeks now? 😭

Growing up I thought resisting peer pressure would be about saying no to drugs, but now it is refusing to get an air fryer

Very much enjoyed writing some material for this week's Dead Ringers! bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0…

Have managed to smash three glasses this week alone, so from now on I will be imbibing all beverages from a plastic sippy cup like a toddler

Big fan of the books so excited to see how this turns out!

Chuffed to be a runner up in this competition! Congrats to all the winners, other runners up, and honorable mentions 👏 🥳

We are calling for celebrities, publishers and agents to acknowledge the writers behind celebrity books, and calling for evidence from members with experiences of ghostwriting. Read more and take our short survey here👇 societyofauthors.org/2024/12/09/cal…

It's that time again! The BBC's open door comedy show DMs Are Open is BACK and you're going to write for it. Here's a blog with all the details, fully updated for series 4 thecomedyloser.com/2022/05/12/dms… Go get a credit as a BBC writer! #writingcommunity #comedywriting Stevie Martin