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November is #NationalDiabetesMonth. The day after the biggest candy holiday is National Awareness of Diabetes Month. They are really cutting us off at the knees with this BS.

My comedy sets are like my handshakes, 1 out of 5 times they're awkward and sweaty. #comedy

La Lucha (The Struggle) Open Mic Night. Every Wednesday El Luchador Bar El Luchador Sign up in person at 6:30pm. Show starts at 7:00pm. 5 minutes of stage time per comic. #thestruggleisreal #sanantonio #comedy #openmic #standupcomedy #sanantoniocomedy #openmicnight

Stand-up Comedy Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt... suck it Vonnegut.

Yo. I've been out of therapy for a couple months now, so don't ask me "how you doing?" unless you mean that sh*t.

Don't mistake my weakness for weakness.

If White Claws are a ladies beverage, then why am I a better driver after 12 of them?

TONIGHT at Upstage Comedy Lounge. THE DARK SHOW Featuring some of the Funniest Comedians and their Dark and Edgy material. Audience Participation Welcomed!!! #sanantonio #friday #night #comedyshow #sanantoniocomedy #dark #edgy #standupcomedy #audienceparticipation #win #prizes

You've heard of Elf on the Shelf, now STFU.

Girl Math: Solve for WHY?

Women don't let you merge. What they want most in life, they don't do in traffic.

When I "take care of myself" without using the internet, just off 🎶Pure Imagination🎶, I call that Willy Wanka.

I've been reading books by Feminist Aurthors. Because it's important to get the female's perspective, but in a male voice.

I finally watched the #BarbieMovie   , and I totally agree with it's message... #MatchboxTwenty rulez.

I'm an old soul, but young at heart. I started going bald before I had pubes.

Has It ever happened in television history to re-name an old show to re-release it under a new (non-problematic) name? Cause I sure could binge-watch "The Huxtables" right about now.

I wonder if Taylor Swift plans on retiring.

I'm not sure who needs to hear this, but you need another wipe.

Oh No. Let's Panic. #facebookdown

Fresh out of my therapy session. I've finally mastered the art of dry crying. Who's da man now?!?