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How do you explain to someone you're a mime? #firstworldproblems #catsgotmytongue

COMEDY written and performed by yours truly... youtube.com/watch?v=Xg5Z9q…

How do Mexican jumping beans work? And why do they have to be Mexican, huh Donald J. Trump?

MONDAY AUGUST 24 7PM Lucky Gretzinger and I are playing 45 minutes of tunes Mess Hall Harlem #messhallharlem #summerjams

I'm starting a carpet business called Carpet Diem. #jokes #carpet

Queen Elizabeth called 1992 an "annus horribilis," which, coincidentally, is what I call the morning after I eat enchiladas. #comedy #gold

I hope Djokovic beats Kevin Federline. I never really liked Britney Spears. #USOpen #graspingforstrawscomedy

Was doing some cardio at the gym today, and my eyes started playing tricks on me. Must've been one of those elliptical illusions. #gymjoke

My reflection in a puddle 15 ft down, through a subway grate. 8th Ave between 18th and 19th. #nyc #artallaroundus

Tonight! Harlem Mess Hall! 8pm. Me! Music!

It's crazy. Ever since I brought food back into my diet, I haven't been as hungry.

Did you know that JK Rowling has a twin sister named LOL? #igotjokeshere #HarryPotter

Let's make like a tree and leave! Let's make like a banana and split! Let's make like Miley Cyrus and start licking things! #oneliner

Check out my NPR Tiny Desk Concert contest submission! youtu.be/C1M151f1QZc It was supposed to be a short film, right?

If a tree falls in a forest, and no one's there to Tweet about it, does it make a sound? #FOMO

Speaking of segues...

I feel like making something beautiful

An awesome tune by Nick sung by the golden voiced @kelleydugan x.com/luckynick/stat…

youtube.com/watch?v=D9lYeH… An original tune at the Atlantic School Alumni Cabaret.

Upcoming gig 54 Below playing Muppets classics. I'm on guitar/vox in the house band. 54below.com/events/54-cele…