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I don’t know if we’re in daylight savings right now or if it’s daylight spendings but whichever it is sucks and feels like I live on Game of Thrones.

"Shingletown" sounds painful.

Having friends is a wild experience in the age of Ozempic. One day they’re sticking to our unspoken but important slightly chubby pact and then bam they look great and hungry but not hungry with two little Half Domes jutting out of what’s left of their face. A cheekbone flash mob

In our Jan. issue, Troy Johnson reviews Le Coq, the grand finale from the duo behind Herb & Wood and Animae. This Parisian steakhouse is helmed by James Beard-nominated chef Tara Monsod… and yes, it’s pronounced exactly how you think. Read it here: sandiegomagazine.com/food-drink/le-…

Why the emoji gods still limiting us to one per message? I want to heart your text and laugh at it. Possibly some light crying, an eggplant.

After age 30 life is mostly just entering codes to recover passwords, most of which are the names of your kids that you're not spending time with because you've gotta recover this password.

My browser is so confused. "This guy has googled nothing but different cheeses for two years and now he wants to know a **** ton about tariffs."

If I were Canada and Mexico, I'd revenge-tariff Lululemon specifically. There's a repressed rage about expensive-yoga-pants people that will undo America.

OK guys, here's what I've learned about tariffs. Your bourbon friend is about to be super moody. The reign of avocado toast will finally end. And cars are about to cost a billion dollars. Plusses and minuses.

Throw pillows don't specify where they should be thrown. Take em for a ride on a freeway. Throw em out the window. Reclaim your life.

Per recipe, WaterWipes sound a lot like La Croix for butts.

If you own a dolly and have not yet named it Salvador, your dolly may be revoked.

I’m team foot font. Footless fonts are too straight, too clean, like font veneers. Helvetica is a serial killer.

Pretzels are the truffle of coach class.

Need a patch or a gum to help us break our phone habit. Just a couple milligrams of dumb internet shit pumped into our bloodstream throughout the day.

Social media's fail is only fixating on the new. It's like a dog that dry humps any new person who walks through the door. Also show us things with history and roots. Be the dog who walks over to the person who's been there for an hour and honors them with a dry hump.

Sometimes I'm chill and other times I wonder how many microplastics I’ve eaten and if my insides are slowly turning into a Dollar Store.

Kiss cam operators have been plotting this for years. They got a list.

Just saw a news headline that started "Beyond Oil..." and thought nope I don't want vegetarian gasoline.