Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile
Maxwell

@altmaxwell

SXM | NYC

ID: 238456176

linkhttp://Instagram.com/AltMaxwell calendar_today15-01-2011 06:11:02

2,2K Tweet

4,4K Followers

201 Following

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

makes me sad to think there won’t be a moment for kids these days to see something like The Mummy or The Matrix for the very first time in a movie theater 😢

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

been trying for weeks unsuccessfully to get my dog to swallow his pills, only to find out today that hiding them in potato latkes is the key. What an exciting life i live

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

my dog sleeping with his paws wrapped around me like a backpack is a new kind of adorable i don’t think i can handle

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

in dishonor of the song “Blurred Lines” trending, i’d like to see a reinterpretation of it to be about a persons plight to regain their vision

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

you are literal scum to “return” a pet after you’ve bought or adopted one. If this lessens that despicable act, i’m all for it

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

the world would be a better place if people knew what the fuck they wanted to order when it’s their turn at a register

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

homeless people openly smoking crack on an empty turf field but i’m the one who gets a ticket for playing fetch with my dog #nyc

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Proud of my little brother-in-law, Jason, who is marketing and distributing Barack Obama’s top movie of 2021, #drivemycar. It is a fantastic film, minus the fact that i did not appreciate the way the car was driven and the IMDB description makes no sense. Go see it!

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

wife called me a psycho for taking the outer skin of every chickpea off before i use them for anything. Does anyone else do this? or should i have myself committed

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

can someone explain to me why i can’t stream or rent Angels In The Outfield anywhere? My inner child is crushed right now 😔

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Defending Your Life by Albert Brooks deserves more recognition as a comedy classic. Brilliant writing and world building and Meryl Streep has never been more delightfully happy in a role. Do yourself a favor and watch it!

Maxwell (@altmaxwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

i’ve entered a very depressing phase of fatherhood where i’m watching Blippi and Miss Rachel long after my kid has fallen asleep