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Please share with me your worst cheek kiss greeting story.

Do you: Feel sorry for one uneaten pea? Chat to your car? Feel guilty if your house hears you talking about moving? Here’s why we anthropomorphise (and stuff about a helium horse balloon trying to seduce me): annabelport.substack.com/p/a-helium-bal…

Some advice gathered on how to do the cheek kiss greeting: 1. Go for the right cheek first. But sometimes it’s the left. 2. Touch the cheek with your lips. But also don’t touch the cheek and just kiss the air. 3. Go for two kisses. But also go with the flow on how many kisses.

For anyone who struggles with the social not-nicety of the cheek kiss greeting: annabelport.substack.com/p/fear-and-hor…

My third favourite married couple easing the burden of deciding what to watch on TV. Plus Charlie Brooker and Bisha K Ali. It's very funny.

I know triangular sandwiches and toast are superior to rectangular ones but I can’t imagine loving myself enough to do them that fancy way at home.

Good job I run the tap first before filling my glass and get rid of that Legionnaires' disease water before reaching the mountain spring fresh stuff.

The alphabet doesn’t need to be in that order. There’s no reason for that order. And I’m starting to resent the unelected overlords of A, B and C. annabelport.substack.com/p/superior-let…

My latest shopping list left in a supermarket trolley for one happy shopper…

when i add a little pasta water to the sauce

You should be able to plug your headphones into the hoover so you don’t wake anyone up

How I nearly ended up with massive, black, shiny pillars in 50% of the rooms of my home: annabelport.substack.com/p/why-its-okay…

Why I think it’s okay to be a people pleaser: (Although I think they should get government grants for their extra costs in life.) annabelport.substack.com/p/why-its-okay…

Does anybody think - yeah, my partner is much better than me at stacking the dishwasher?

I’m so weak-minded that four words changed a core belief about myself. If any cults want to brainwash me, I’ll be your easiest target ever: annabelport.substack.com/p/how-four-wor…

In the flesh! (With no flesh showing.)

The face of a dog who just won £24 in the family Euros sweepstake.