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There are no reports concerning the specifics of Benson’s diet in captivity. However, an inside source tells us that Boone has gained 30-35lbs since being kidnapped. “Trust me, the weight went to all the right places,” our source tells us.

I was hacked

I flew her out to Miami to get her AWAY from me. Do you see me in Miami? No. I am right here with you my love.

All ejaculation is premature. Patience, friends. The great orgasm is upon us

IF YOU PREORDER MY BOOK, YOU GET THE ME ON THE LEFT. IF YOU DON'T, YOU GET THE ME ON THE RIGHT!!!!! simonandschuster.com/books/Breaking…

FACT: defecation is a psychological need, NOT a physical one. (Disagree? read Freud.) The well-adjusted mind does not produce “waste.”

My Machine of course🤤

THERAPIST: It sounds like you find it difficult to be kind to yourself. ME: {weeping} it’s true.. Oh god it’s true. My mother— THERAPIST: Who are you? THERAPIST’S PATIENT: Who are you

Many people are mentally frozen at the age they became gay

does this scare you Black Mirror

Riddle for you. A father and son are on a bike ride. The son is struck by a car. Needs immediate surgery. The doctor enters the operating room and, upon seeing the boy, exclaims, “I cannot operate on this boy! I am his mother!” How is it possible that a woman became a doctor?

(giving a speech at my buddy’s wedding) Websters dictionary defines “gay murderer” as

Americans overwhelmingly opposed military actions against Iran. If the Democratic Party were an institution that actually valued winning elections and acquiring power they would be seizing on this moment and on this sentiment to rally around a strong anti war message.

No. I’m Iranian and actually what fucked this country was a demented Democrat who unconditionally supported a genocide, while the people close to him hid his various mental and physical ailments, thereby preventing a democratic primary to choose a semi-decent candidate to run.

“Biden/Harris would’ve been better”

“Nor I,” said the blind Australian