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When you make a joke about how he’d be relieved if he never saw you again and he just says “…yeah.”

*sigh*

HELP ME there was a really cute guy named Max at Anton’s in the West Village. He was at the table next to my friends and me and then outside I gave him a flower petal but then disappeared into the night. TWITTER DO YOUR THING! Find him! Please!!

i talk to strangers often bc i think people are awesome but one day it's gonna get me killed lol

You went to my DM requests and all the e-girls knew you

The last 4 minutes of the Knicks game felt like holding someone’s hand while the ambulance is coming knowing they’re already dead

So true

I’m going to be the Helen of Troy of the Humans vs AI War

Bagel

Uzumaki

Japanese Cigarette

no yeah, i do have a boyfriend. you wouldn't know him tho, he uh....he goes to another weekly reading series...yeah.

I gots to nap so I can wake up and be menace

“Wow you ate so much where does it all go!!?” like literally my ass just take my clothes off

How could they see with sequins in their eyes??!!!

I think it’s cool and cute when guys tie a shoelace around their waist instead of wearing a belt

It’s DOLLAR WING NIGHT, BABY!

Back when Everything was Okay