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Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! It was 15 years ago, but now they want me to celebrate being on something called "X"... I never joined an X. like who the hell names something after a letter of the alphabet? #MyXAnniversary

Hey #crohnsdisease peeps, check out my new short film "Wipeout" I made for the Easterseals Disability Film Challange #EDFC2024 youtube.com/watch?v=YOzKTt…

Prey for stand-up.

My FULL SPECIAL is premiering now! Join the watch party! youtube.com/watch?v=dH6S1k…

Crohn's, comedy, and initials to match. Some might call it a coincidence... I call it source material. 😂 Watch the full bit! #Crohns #CrohnsDisease #IBD #InflammatoryBowelDisease #ChronicIllness #BMInitials #MedicalComedy #HealthHumor #Comedian #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Funny

Is "Do nothing and you won't work a day in your life" the ultimate life hack? 🤔 I think I've found my calling. 😂 #DoingNothing #DoNothing #Comedy #StandUpComedy #Humor #Funny #Joke #Relatable #Lazy #Relax #Chill #WorkLifeBalance #CareerGoals #Comedian #StandUp

She says she's cold... you hear it. But do you understand it? 😂 #Comedy #StandUpComedy #Funny #Humor #ComedyReel #RelationshipHumor #CouplesComedy #BeingCold #ListenToYourGirl #PositionBurke #Witty #ComedianLife #Relatable

Rule number one of selling drugs: DON'T be the one buying them. 🤦‍♂️ Let's just say my brief career as a dealer didn't go according to plan... #Comedy #StandUpComedy #Funny #Humor #ComedyReel #AwfulDrugDealer #EntrepreneurFail #BadBusiness #DrugDealingGoneWrong #RelatableComedy

Confession: Is your life in utter chaos? Do you need a new desk because you... shot someone? 😂 You're probably at Ross. #RossDressForLess #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Funny #Retail #ShoppingProblems #Chaos

Saving the world? Nah, Superman's booked. 😂 Turns out having X-ray vision AND a brain going a mile a minute is exhausting. Plus, let's be honest, y'all don't even wanna be saved. #Superman #Comedy #Superhero #Funny #Sketch #DepressedSuperman #ExhaustedHero

Diddy got off, and then Diddy got off. It just got me thinking, though... what is baby oil, anyway? The name alone sounds suspicious. 🤔 #Diddy #BabyOil #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Jokes #Funny #Court #CourtScene #JohnsonAndJohnson #AdultOil #KeepBabiesDry

Red Bull gives you... diabetes? 🤔😂 Or maybe it just turns you into a superhero who quickly realizes they're the villain they were hunting. #RedBull #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Funny #EnergyDrink #RedBullVodka #Superhero

Trying AA for the first time... and immediately questioned the whole "Anonymous" part. 😂 #StandUpComedy #AA #AlcoholicsAnonymous #Comedy #Funny #Addiction #Recovery #Anonymity #Humor

I like wood. 😉🌳😂 #BisexualLumberjack #StandUpComedy #ComedyReel #Comedian #Funny #Joke #Pun #DoubleEntendre #Bisexual #Bi #LGBTQ #QueerComedy #Lumberjack #Plaid #ComedyShow #FunnyVideos #ComedyGram #InstaComedy #CuttingWood

Right outside the bathroom is my happy place! 🚽👃😂 Anyone else get asked obvious questions? #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Funny #Joke #Comedian #ComedyReel #Bathroom #Waiting #PublicBathroom

He's got the body of a father, but he seems to have skipped a crucial step. It's all the bod with none of the baby. 😭 #standupcomedy #comedy #dadbod #relatable #jokes #comedian #WednesdayWisdom #OOTD

Men have been using the bathroom wrong this whole time. My foolproof method protects the important things, even if it makes handshakes a bit more personal. 🤝 #standupcomedy #comedy #jokes #bathroomhumor #hygiene #relatable #Wordle #NBAPlayoffs

You've heard the conspiracies, but have you heard about Trump's most audacious heist? Hint: it's solid gold and the entire world is looking for it. ⚽🏆 #Trump #FIFA #WorldCup #Satire #PoliticalHumor #ReleaseTheFIFAs #UFLChampionship #NBADraft

He found the secret to getting the best food from every country, and it’s all in one neighborhood. Just don't let the name 'Koreatown' fool you. 😉 #standupcomedy #comedy #jokes #koreatown #mexicanfood #foodie #ThursdayThoughts #DailyDeal

First comes the public cheating scandal, then comes the OnlyFans model offering the wife... a shoulder to cry on? 🧐 You truly cannot make this stuff up. #Coldplay #KissCam #SophieRain #OnlyFans #Scandal #Comedy #HouseOfTheDragon #NBADraf