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and what kind of summer do you suggest we have?

"you better not be giving edna mode if she served when I get there" me:

i only saw nicole scherzinger

okay so this is what all my unemployed friends are doing during the day

Me when I drunkenly Irish Goodbye my friends at the bar and then text them the next day:

this is all i see when I watch those australian twins being interviewed

when me and my work bestie try to pretend everything is a two person job

Benny recreating prom because Selena never got to go... he's raising the bar for us all

when my friends respond with “I can’t, I’m trying to save money.”

Gwyneth Paltrow: "i'm going to start eating carbs" meanwhile me, my whole life:

cancelling my weekly therapy session to make time for a weekly gossip session with one of my friends

i have to watch at least one 20 min long YouTube video a day or my mental health will worsen

LinkedIn is the worst dating app ever. Like what do you mean my situationship just unendorsed me for communication on here

my younger coworker is explaining “junk journaling” to me. Babe it’s called scrapbooking … do NOT recite the dark magic to me, I WAS THERE WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN!!!

I have at least three types of beverages advising me at all times

they should be making retirement homes for 30 year old girls like me

having drinks in 70 degree plus weather always has me feeling like it’s time to respond to everyone’s Instagram story