allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile
allie mae

@biteityouscum_

i made my therapist cry✨ @defaultprogrammer on instagram 👯‍♀️Mad House pod every Wednesday on GasDigital and YouTube

ID: 17996399

linkhttp://linktr.ee/alliemae_ calendar_today09-12-2008 17:31:12

1,1K Tweet

1,1K Followers

309 Following

allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

my bed is pressed up against the walls w my windows and they’re open and it’s raining and wow look at that I’m kinda glamping nbd

allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

New Jersey • Tomorrow night • Power Bottom: The Best Damn Comedy Show in Asbury Park! With one of my absolute favs adrienne iapalucci headlining! Laugh + win with us 🥳 🎟️: etix.com/ticket/p/59580…

New Jersey • Tomorrow night • Power Bottom: The Best Damn Comedy Show in Asbury Park!  With one of my absolute favs <a href="/AIapalucci/">adrienne iapalucci</a> headlining!  Laugh + win with us 🥳
🎟️: etix.com/ticket/p/59580…
allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

This is the second time since I’ve lived in NYC that I had a minute+ long laughing fit with the 311 operator. It’s the little things in life💐☺️

allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

No, I’m not donating to your gofundme for your cats medical bills. I have my own medical bills, and also I ate a can of beans for breakfast.

allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

😣 Lost my keys, including the only key to my Honda 🤡 99.9% sure I threw my drivers license away in the garbage 🐵 Yesterday I sat on a banana ‼️ If I don’t take Adderall twice a day, every day, I am hopeless

Abiyoyo (@naim__ali) 's Twitter Profile Photo

All killers tomorrow nite at The Stand NYC + Brian St. John + FIGGY + jordan jensen + Mike Recine + @geoffreyasmus + Katie Boyle Hosted by allie mae and Abiyoyo F: thestandnyc.com/shows/show/109… use code DRIP and save $5 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

All killers tomorrow nite at <a href="/TheStandNYC/">The Stand NYC</a>
+ Brian St. John 
+ <a href="/ComicMikeFigs/">FIGGY</a> 
+ <a href="/jordanjensen/">jordan jensen</a> 
+ <a href="/mikerecine/">Mike Recine</a> 
+ @geoffreyasmus
+ <a href="/katieboylecomic/">Katie Boyle</a> 
Hosted by <a href="/biteityouscum_/">allie mae</a> and <a href="/Naim__Ali/">Abiyoyo</a> 
F: thestandnyc.com/shows/show/109… use code DRIP and save $5 
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

One day a week my servitude occurs in one of NYC’s biggest tourist traps. Yesterday a guy sitting at the bar asked if I was me & said you’re funny I’ve been to your show a few times. V cool. Anyway, if it’s good enough for him it’s good enough for u—DRIP tonight at The Stand NYC

One day a week my servitude occurs in one of NYC’s biggest tourist traps. Yesterday a guy sitting at the bar asked if I was me &amp; said you’re funny I’ve been to your show a few times. V cool. Anyway, if it’s good enough for him it’s good enough for u—DRIP tonight at <a href="/TheStandNYC/">The Stand NYC</a>
allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The other night I cried in front of a guy and he didn’t know what to do so he gave me his pocket knife and said “here I want you to have this, it’s my sharpest knife” 😭🥰

allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Last week I reposted my friend’s story of us hugging and this guy replied “yo are you caked up fr or is this just a good angle” and I can’t stop thinking about how funny that is to me

allie mae (@biteityouscum_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Two years ago my landlord hired Stanley Steemer to clean our vents and we got the guys drunk and they added me on Instagram and straight up I plan on being internet besties w this one dude for life!!! Sosa idk if we’re linked on Twitter too but if you can see this I fuss w you 😤