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Chatting with boys on Snapchat really is a lot like mining for gems. You need patience, acumen, and a whole lot of luck to find what you want. The ‘gems’ make it all worth it in the end, but some days, it’s really all just dirt. 😬

I try to be very specific when I announce my availability, so guys don’t have to ask—but they still do. Location, day, and time are already there, and they still go, “Where is this?” “When are you open?” “Tomorrow?” “Tonight after 7?” “So how much is this free weekend, and when?”

Dear #1 Gym Crush: You’ve been grabbing your crotch in my direction for 27 months. You do this every day, and it’s clearly not a simple adjustment if you’re grabbing the whole thing 5 times in 5 minutes. Love the 27-month tease, but it’s torture. Just give it to me already.

Opening the app? Here’s an ad! Messaging someone? Here’s an ad! Reading messages? Here’s an ad! Getting to the next line of the same message? HERE’S A FUCKING AD. We love Grindr.

I was about to sleep, but Aus hung twink 🇦🇺🦘’s fat cock was too good to pass. 🤤

There’s something about the bro who just fed me his load at 5:54 this morning that always gets me all pumped up (pun unintended) for the gym. He’s ridiculously fit with a nice cock (Insta stories wink wink), but I don’t think that’s it — it’s 100% the way he talks to me. 😮‍💨

Did I only get 4 hours of sleep for this hot and hung straight man at 5:40 in the morning? Yes. Yes, I did.

The early morning shift boys at AF Bondi are incredibly hot but need to be more SLUTTY.