🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

Airbus first-timers hearing the cabin noises and immediately drafting texts while logging into in-flight Wi-Fi.

Next phase: Klarna to lock customer refrigerators and pantries as collateral until burrito payments are current.

I’d like to structure all future equity payouts as gratuity.

This holds true not only for career paths, but also when your mom asks if her signature rosemary martini is “Hudson House quality.”

If you’re not watching Top Gun: Maverick in-flight heading into Memorial Day Weekend, why do you hate freedom? 🇺🇸

Pro tip: Reply with comments in PPT and an invoice. Charge your hourly rack rate. Travel and expenses billed separately.

MDW update: Just purged, deep cleaned, and reorganized my closet. Felt a dopamine spike so intense I have no choice but to return some videotapes.

Not trying to dox but… Kenny Powers, is that you?

Every 4-day work week somehow feels like 6.

No man hath less urgency than he in his mid-50s on the leg press machine, racked with 25s, doing quarter reps.

Untold: BCG charged McKinsey $2M to suggest their trash get “canned.”

Evidently my fake vomit-cough wasn’t as subtle (or internal) as I thought when 3C ordered a rum and apple juice before takeoff. Drink order indicates, with 95% confidence, prior Jerry Springer Show appearance: adult baby segment.

Sunset beam just torched my corneas mid-flight thanks to an open window. I’d like to thank Matt Walsh and the Academy for casting me in a “Ray” remake nobody wanted. 😉

I identify as Gizmo after 2.5 margs at Doce Mesas. Please don't feed me after midnight (or 9PM).

Saw a boomer with a Silver Medallion tag on his luggage this morning. So much for the generation that doesn’t partake in “participation trophies.”

Excited for SMU's next chapter and era under President Jay Hartzell. Pony UP.

One thing that makes living on the road worth it: meeting entrepreneurs who built mini empires from nothing but grit, a trade, and zero sleep. When you see the community impact they plan to make with that liquidity? Faith in humanity: restored… … Until I return to the airport.

Faith in humanity: briefly restored, then obliterated. Passenger tried to jam a suitcase, handle locked upright, through security screening. Assured TSA she’d “have no problem” with the overhead bin. Yes, this was at Clear PreCheck.

Sources leak that the new low-cost carrier alliance will be named FlyBelow™ Tagline: All under 5. Altitude. Expectations. Sips of water.* *Excludes surprise fees, carry-on charges, seat recline toll, smile surcharge, or the personal device entertainment tariff.