A

Ww

I put some turkey in my cat's food bowl when he wasn't looking. Now I'm worried that he's gonna keep waiting in vain for another deliver ...

Just felt some bizarre gender bias. The instructor of a workout DVD said to arch my back and rest my hands around "the bra strap area"?! ...

I like how the "share" function so prominent now for online stories has turned us all into newspaper-clipping grannies.

Journalism, y'all! My article from the Isthmus web site on the ongoing development at Union Corners: bit.ly/19XCQwg

Weekend in Denver- animatronic Orangutan, prairie dogs in a city park, burros running 7 minute miles, dinner next to a taxidermied albat ...

...and with the conclusion of my weekend, comes a newfound appreciation of Twitter's 140-character limit.

"Friends! Let us gather around this damp cardboard fire and make merry!" -My idiot neighbors

Packers should consider this strategy for the rest of 2013: Shut it Down, Draft the Clown.

Lady on the phone at Savers: "Girl, you gotta be honest with yo'self- you just looking for sex. But that's OK. You crazy and I love you".

I just wrote a song for Raffi. It's called "Who Put The Eggnog In My Coffee?" The kicker, of course, is that I put the eggnog in my coffee.

Call me uncouth but I`d take Cabo Wabo over Margaritaville any day

of the week.

What is the pocket in a pocket t-shirt for? A book of matches? A gumdrop?

Dad Me: whoa buddy, slow down with those raisins. Kid Me: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP what raisins?

Bennie And The Jets Feat. Wale from Miguel - Listen & Download @thesoulpurp audiomack.com/song/soulpurp/…

Think I was just an unintentional extra in a local hip-hop video being filmed in a pedestrian tunnel. Just look for the runner in orange.

I just remembered that the Bobs Bad Breath Burger is a thing that exists. Need to get to #WearyTraveler pronto.