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I love watching slashers, makes me feel so smart. These people are idiots.

I wish Randy Meeks was real

I was literally sobbing at this film and open the reviews to find this shit 💔💔

Randy Meeks in a nutshell

My nans living room feels like a therapists office

While collecting water six children were murdered by Israel in Gaza today. The IOF describes it as a ‘Technical Error’ Source Channel 4 news.

Guy at shop: are those genetically modified eggplants? Cahier: why do you ask? Eggplant: yeah, why do you ask?

I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself. I said: "of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room"

I made some fish tacos last night. They just ignored them and swam away.

Why were the rappers late for their flight? They forgot Tupac.

I was going to tell a time-travelling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

If you see a robbering at an apple store, does that make you an Iwitness?

Was not aware that David recorded his own version of this song!!! I knew he wrote it, but I'd never heard his version before 🌕✨

He's not a real man if he won't listen to you cry over cassidy williams

I love watching random TV shows with my dad. Last week it was game of thrones, this week its scooby doo

People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a good electrician.

I stutter wayy to much for someone who doesn't have a stutter