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Nowadays you couldn’t even build this city on rock and roll

Why’s it called a sharp cutlery board if you mostly eat it with your hands

being in a well is affecting my well-being

The ultimate goal in life is to have exactly 206 close friends and family members. That way when you die you can leave them each one bone. There’s no rule saying they have to get together on the anniversary of your death to form the skeleton like Voltron, but it would be nice

hey Grok please self-destruct

I would never date that thing a matador waves in front of the bull, huge red flag

*moments after inventing the timephone* Hello, may I speak to Baby Hitler?

Nobody helped me learn to be high strung. I’m self-taut

FCK VWLS

*K-9 tearing all the meat off my forearm* Me: Honestly, we don’t deserve dogs

Dad: I’m not mad I’m just disappointed Step Dad: I’m not Dad I’m just misappointed Sane Contortionist: I’m not mad, I’m just double-jointed

There was a typo on the McDonald’s menu, so everyone got free similes. It was like a McDream

Keep seeing all these signs for laser hair removal. What the hell is laser hair

I don’t use AI, but I do make bullshit art no one wants to look at and answer simple questions incorrectly. Halfway there. Next I gotta learn how to waste millions of litres of water per day

Mentalists must be pissed that comedians stole their opening line, “Look, I know what you’re thinking”

Love the song La Vie En Rose by Edit PDF

You can do whatever you want

People say my epithets are meaningless and redundant, I say how dare you insult The Nickname Haver AKA Mister Aliases AKA Sir Pseudonyms AKA Million Monickers AKA Plural Pen Names AKA Several Sobriquets

Mad Max: You couldn’t make a movie like Waterworld in today’s climate Lord Humungus: Because of woke? Mad Max: Because there’s no water

13 years ago today we rocked the first Swamp Thing show & dropped The Grindhouse EP #swampthingraps