Discovery: You don’t need to have a falcon to wear a falconry glove. People will just assume the falcon is out.

Customs: “Do you have anything to declare?” Me: *grabs the agent by the hand* “I declare a thumb war.”

MOCKINGBIRD: “Blah blah blah! Harper Lee is an idiot!” HARPER LEE: (grabbing typewriter.) “That’s it.”

Match my pledge to Either Sen. Collins VOTES NO on Kavanaugh OR we fund her future opponent on @Crowdpac! crowdpac.com/campaigns/3874…

If Trump thinks there's a caravan of angry brown people in Mexico, just wait till he sees the lines at the polls tomorrow.

Don’t let this bully intimidate you. Voting is your RIGHT if anyone gives you trouble at the polls call 866-OUR-VOTE and they will help

Siri broken for anyone else? #siri #siridown

Boycott @doubletree. #racism Never set foot in this hotel. DoubleTree by Hilton Portland

Fantastic.

Is Twitter still a thing? Is thing thing on? *tapping mic*

PLEASE. We need you #JonStewart. Please help us with GUN CONTROL. I don't think we can do it without you.

Hey @telecharge, your site is down. "We’re sorry, we're having a problem with this feature of the site right now. Please try again." Umm, buying tickets seems like an important feature not to go down!

What if this virus - and others to come - is somehow connected to how much we've ratfucked the environment? When we upset one thing in nature, it tends to have repercussions down the line. One long fire season here in Cali then became the new normal. Is anything worth...

Hey City of Santa Monica, REALLY? THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. DO BETTER. YOU'RE GOING TO GET A LOT OF PEOPLE KILLED. tmz.com/2020/04/01/far…

Hey FiveThirtyEight maybe consider another profession? Maybe parking enforcement or dental hygiene? Data Science is clearly not something you can reliably do. Thanks for nothing. Later.

⁦Bill Maher⁩ what do we do about the whiny little bitch?

I generally really like AOC, but if she could wait to go to war with the Democratic Party until after the Georgia runoffs, that would be swell.

The failure of the Capitol Police and Federal Law Enforcement to protect the Capitol of the United States is profound. It is inexcusable.

Hey Avalara your support is AWFUL. No callbacks, no help, "sorry, can't access your account," language issues. A disaster.

⁦Bill Maher⁩ you were right. cnn.com/2022/09/12/pol…