❤️❤️❤️ x.com/KristinSeltman…

whoever got the original [email protected] email address must be dead by now from all the sexing he undoubtedly got.

The irony that Bill Cosby got off and you just woke up.

my hot take: #ilizashlesinger isn't wrong, just very hypocritical.

a breathalyzer that stops you from tweeting. but it's for Donald J. Trump and instead of alcohol it's how drunk on power you are.

#NFL players are like pornstars, they get fucked hard for like 7-10 years then retire and are broke or dead within a decade

if the thing that gets you most upset in the world is an athlete protesting during your countries anthem you are a fucking loser

why wont #NFLBoycott work? coz everyone boycotting is dirt poor,dumb,white trash; I'm guessing the NFL wont miss the 8 bucks they brought in

of course lack of compromise caused the civil war! if iron man had just— oh the actual civil war? no that was definitely because of slavery

Muslims are gonna be expected to denounce #NYCTerror but US government officials continue defending slavers and slavery. GO USA!!!

Number of people who go bankrupt every year bc of medical bills: Britain: 0 France:0 Japan: 0 Germany: 0 Canada: 0 USA: 643,000

OH THANK GOD!! People are writing "thoughts and prayers" on social media!! It's all gonna be ok guys!!!

To Donald J. Trump I know this tweet wont change the world but I really need you to know; you are a sack of shit and I hope you catch your scrotum in a moving bike chain

I always thought Louie CK seemed like an insincere piece of shit, but now I know he probably really meant all those raping kids jokes.

I have only now realised I am blocked on twitter by Lars Callieou, the reason I found out? I wanted to tag him in the Louie CK story and tell him he finally had something in common with his hero 😂😂😂

If something awful happens to you just know you are not alone, someone on social media will make your problem about them.

is now a good time to ask Netflix if they will record my comedy special? im at least as funny (and 100% less complicit to sexual crimes) as most of the comics they have on their service. i already have the venue too: Empress Ale House Empress Comedy

oh my god, Putin sounds like Poo-tin and Trump rhymes with dump!!!! THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING THERE!!! just give me a little time with it guys..........

Do you think Donald Trump visiting their country is Vietnam's Vietnam?

The most messed thing about this is the woman trying to say people being disgusted by this is a form of misogyny!?! NO YOU NASTY FUCK!!! PEOPLE SHOULDN'T WANT HUMAN ANYTHING IN THEIR FOOD, LET ALONE GENITAL DISCHARGES!! #wouldyoueatmycumcrumpets? x.com/WomensHealthMa…