This Is Different is back! We got another ✨terrific lineup✨ Sunday 9/12, 7:30pm at The Nitecap in Burbank! $10! Outdoors so Fauci would love it! Carmen Christopher Laurie Kilmartin Kimberly Clark @wellhongd elon musk is my father eventbrite.com/e/this-is-diff…

Went to urgent care for gallbladder pain and was told to make some diet changes: Doc: you shouldn't have caffeine for awhile Me: ... Doc: are you going to be okay to work tomorrow? Do you need a note? Me: if I can't have caffeine can you excuse me from people indefinitely

Cyber Monday just turned into “Realizing we have a shopping problem” Friday

Maybe if women were classified as fish, the govt would protect our rights. insider.com/bees-officiall…

Comedian, writer, and cool T-shirt owner Diana Hong takes us down the nostalgia tunnel with a wholesome nineties CLASSIC. This episode’s got laughs, tales from the 90's, mental health, and of course, goofs. Grab a Capri Sun and pull up a bean bag! 🍿🎧 #agoofymovie #moviepodcast

Cats have it made - when they sleep for 14 hours a day, it's cute. When I do it, it's called depression.

Over the pandemic I learned how to cut my girlfriend's hair. The haircuts are truly one of a kind because they never come out the same way.

Working from home makes it hard to tell when I'm actually depressed. If I haven't showered for a week - is it because I'm sad or lazy? Realistically, probably both.

White shirts are like condoms. They're only good to wear one time.

Do people that wake up before the sun start their day telling the sun "you're not grinding hard enough"?

After falling down the stairs I realize the reason they're called stairs is because you're supposed to stare at each one so you don't fall.

I realize I shouldn't smoke weed and photoshop because it takes me 3 hours to do anything. Two hours of that is sporadically stopping to look at my work like "wow, technology is crazy"

What do Jesus and Costco's rotisserie chicken have in common? They're both saviory

Drunkalogue Presents: Comedy Upstairs @theclubhouseimprovla every first Wednesday of the month! This month: @andyrideragain Diana Hong @danabraziel & Simon Gibson $10 suggested/free . eventbrite.com/e/drunkalogue-… #losangelesevents #thingstodoinla #jokes #cool #comedyshow #comedian

I always thought bathroom attendants were fancy. Then I saw one check the stall immediately after the person walked out when they were still within the vicinity before letting me go in. Turns out they're just snitches to make sure you're not nasty.

Being lesbian cat moms means clarifying what we mean by "Sorry we were late. We had to play with our cats"

My gf and I switch off being the "masc" one in the relationship. When on the street, I'll walk on the outside. When we go hiking, she'll walk on the edge side since I have a fear of heights. You can say I'm a gentleman in the streets, but a lady when above 6 ft.

Today was going to be a productive day until my cat got a little too relaxed while making biscuits that a 💩 fell out. It was like the universe said "this is the only sh!t you'll get done today"

#southwestairlines flight check in is getting as competitive as Taylor Swift tickets