I'm about to crash out!!! (Piss all over my neighbors laundry)

What a beautiful Chinese day here in Spain.

Incredible Chinese things are happening in Portugal.

I'm having so much Chinese fun in the place where I was born, the free State of Nude England.

Just abandoned my girl in the store because she looked at gatorade

"That doesn't really work, does it? Did you try... without dyes? Or no tap water... hmm, yes. Yes. Better! What do you think?"

I just blew rope in Douglas Martin's Crafts & More

You can all rest easy.

Pronouns in your bio? K yourself B*th

At the height of his fame, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart would regularly goad the wives of kings into pouring Sport Drink into his mouth as he played. "More please! I'm making piss," he'd shout, met with great laughter and joy.

Pussy got me calling shoes footwear

Pussy got a fella doing trust falls

Uber done fucked up and dropped me on Hoth

Any bitches on Hoth rn?

Escorted out of the club for asking a young lady to "Throw it back on my Peter til I Paul"

Sometimes a mf says something so bad you just gotta hit him with the patented Matthew Stare

Pussy so good it turned me from blasian to wasian

Pussy got me trying to find the square root