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everyone’s cranking out clips these days, whatever happened to live comedy

the main emotion I’m trying to inspire with my guitar solos is hope

tonight in New Orleans! the Big Easy we call it

I dedicate this next song to Diana, goddess of the hunt

seamlessly connecting this to the decline in white birth rates somehow

it would be brutally ironic if after all these years Trump goes down for the simple crime of having sex with children

what you people don’t realize is that all this arguing is actually hurting Jeffrey Epstein’s legacy

the next James Bond should smoke pot

apparition: Macbeth shall never vanquished be until Great Birnam Wood shall come against him. Macbeth: okay great, and that’s not a trick or a riddle or anything like that, right? like the other things were? apparition: uhhhh, no. it definitely isn’t.

I have obtained the Epstein files

seeding a Deuxmoi tip that I’m nice

Elliot Rodger: women should be placed in quarantined breeding camps, isolated from society in order to preserve a masculine utopia free of their poisonous female treachery Subway Takes guy: 100 percent agree

honestly I think Trump should lean into his role as a fiendish riddle-master -- puzzle boxes, fiddle dee dee, etc.

my shredder gave its life for this bit

the major publishers have all rejected my pitch for a children’s book series about a wizarding school where “nothing much happens”