I thought you should know…

The internet's reaction when you speak dismissively of a pop star getting married to a pro athlete:

For some reason, 5+ years later, someone has interacted with this (in interwebs time) ancient twxxt. Therefore, since it's of timeless importance, I am resharing.

Uh-oh. Anywhere from 4 to 17 people with freshly-needled, yellow+brown tattoos shaped like Donkey Kong barrels are not going to be happy.

I was going to be sad that I never received the future I was promised, but then I remembered that this was the distant past, so now I have no idea how to feel.

In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Happy National Banana Lovers Day.

Because of travel, I haven’t been on this accursed microblog for a few days. Traveled lighter, faster, my feet not stuck in the muck.

A lot of people don’t know this, but ζ(2)=π2/6 and eiπ=-1.

Just like Paul David Hewson, they still haven’t found what they’re looking for.

Happy, like, Labor Day, comradz.

SOON... ...in more ways than one.

TFW you're ready for summer to be over...

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

They look at me like I'm crazy. I look at them like there are cats walking on the ceiling above them.

RETVRN

Once upon a time, domesticated cats with poor grammar made social media something worth participating in. Maybe domesticated cats with bad grammar will return to save it.

I’ve run the numbers, and the value of a single page from a coloring book, Crayola-fied by a 4-year-old and affixed to a refrigerator door, is 15,275x the value of something created by an AI prompt. Also, the former is art, whereas the latter is not. MATH.

Ring around the planet. Ring around the bathtub. Saturn’s Day!