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I went down on a chick and said I needed air. She clamped her legs on my head and said “bitch, breathe through my pussy.”

If a girl I’m dating calls me “pussy”, it’s over. I’m cumming

Can we get a low PH beard-wash for after I eat pussy?

I live a tortured life

I’m whatever fetish allows me to fuck Sabrina Carpenter

Fuck you Robert F. Kennedy Jr. | Commentary only my son is gunna be hitting dingers and having a good time. Froggy ass bitch

If Macklemore and Chappell Roan had a baby, would it be Mackle Roanie?

I need a cheat code to turn off cum for when I’m spank’n incognito and I don’t need to be blasting ropes.

My 4 year old daughter has been into Spider-Man lately and the other day she randomly asked me in the middle of Spider-Man 2 to put on Moana. I said “no” and that she was being “faggy”, now my wife is upset. Am in the wrong?

I would be thrilled to see a HJR III™💎 comeback in 2027!!!

Happy pride month y’all. For the entire month of June I’m going to be gay. Please DM me men

As if Idaho needed another reason for people to think they’re all pussies.

Throw dat ass in a circus!!!

Big Beautiful Bill < Big Beautiful Women

I don’t normally condone women reading but this chick has the right idea

I love the smell of underboob

The discrepancy between the amount of fruit flies in my kitchen and how much fruit I’m buying is concerning

ok who THE FUCK unfollowed me?

Who got HBO Max, and can I use?

I wish somebody would talk about me the way Hunter Biden talks about crack.