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Walken in a winter wonder land.

My last apartment only had four-foot high ceilings. I couldn’t stand living there.

If A is for apple and B is for banana, what is C for? Plastic explosives.

My therapist told me I can't identify my own emotions. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home all the signs were there.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them Did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters

I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going out windows.

I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology. That has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers! What are the odds?

There’s only one thing I can’t deal with, and that’s a deck of cards glued together.

My wife said that I ruined her birthday.. But I didn’t even know it was her birthday.

When I was young, my parents made me walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.

Just found out the company that produces yardsticks won’t be making them any longer.

What do you call a mute owl? Anything you like, it doesn’t give a hoot.

For Christmas, I bought my wife new beads for her abacus. It's the little things that count.

The only gift I got for Christmas was a deck of sticky playing cards. I’m having a hard time dealing with it.

Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.

Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said: "Dad can't you just use a sponge?"

My doctor just diagnosed me with a severe lack of awareness. That came out of nowhere.

Thrilled to announce SIS has been honoured with the prestigious Green School Award from the Department of Education, Guangdong Province! 🌿🏆 Inspired to continue our green journey! #sisrocks #gogeckos #issedu