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I don’t know about this new Twitter policy…

I want cake.

Elevator maintenance for the next three days so I guess I’m not leaving my 7th-floor apartment until Friday.

After a six-week hiatus, I can confirm that putting on liquid eyeliner is NOT "just like riding a bike." #raccooneyes

Taxes paid. GST paid. Heading into the weekend feeling very responsible.

This happened to me last week! I even included commas. And then I apologized for doing it and kept going with the voicemail, but then kept verbally punctuating it anyway.

I don't always have breakfast (don't @ me), but today, when I have to fast until noon, all I can think about is all the things I want to eat right now.

It’s too big.

Just drinking tea out of my good china while listening to classical music and marking papers like the old lady I am.

I love language so much! This thread ... I didn't even know any of this.

Wordle 694 1/6 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Oh. My. God. Worldle in one. I’m going to have to stop playing now.

The smoke here is awful. But all I can think about is those fighting or fleeing the fires. (And the budget cuts to fire crews and health care that are surely stinging right now.)

A prayer for AB journalists today. May the results be swift and the pizza delicious.

I can’t tell you how insanely envious I am of people who don’t have an inner monologue. It’s like being followed by the world’s most boring and yet critical narrator.

Ready for "claw my eyes out" season to end.

This is psychotic, but I reject the notion that she wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between half Coke, half Diet Coke. True Diet Coke addicts are like the finest sommeliers: We can tell you whether our Diet Coke came from a can/bottle/fountain, purely by taste.

So very here for this rain.

Well, that escalated quickly.

While others sweat how many exclamation marks they can use in a message, I'm doing it with em dashes.

Filling out forms for a mammogram and had to indicate how I know I’m not pregnant. Circled “no male partner” as a reason and then realized that it does not think what I initially thought it did. 😅