Hey “big guy”, how you doin’? It’s perfectly fine to not like tattoos, not everyone can be cool. Some people were destined to be vanilla. What’s NOT fine is having dumbbells as your banner photo while rocking the biceps of a vegan librarian, you soft-serve bitch.🍦

Would you risk getting caught on a kiss cam with me? 🤔

Guys I hit the trifecta tonight. I caught my grumpy old neighbor snooping, a drug deal, AND the guy who has asked me what my birthday is 3,285 days in a row all in one TikTok. 😂

Is that a carrot in your pocket or are you happy to see me? 🥕

Yes or no?

Me day drinking at lunch: “If I get intoxitated, cut me off.” 😂

OZZY AND NOW HULK HOGAN?! THIS YEAR SUCKS!!!! 😭😭😭

Go full frontal on the timeline and watch your life disintegrate 🤣

Go Bills. ♥️💙

I saw a picture of my ex today and suddenly my day is fantastic 😂

Alright guys I think I’m rounding out the great crash out of 2025. I spent 72 hours crying to Jessie Murph songs and I’m capping it off by researching tortoise ownership. The spiral is complete 😂

Men used to send letters during war and I can’t even get a text back 😂

Alright guys I’m bored and depressed so let’s do a Q & A if there’s anyone even reading this 😂 ask me a question in the comments, everyone gets a foIIow back if I don’t already.