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Can you imagine being in the room? youtube.com/watch?v=fyAUKU…

Better than good

Thank you for lovely birthday wishes. Definitely took the sting out of it.

An immaculate set of 5 - the best I’ve seen - and they were taken by England! Crazy times. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

I managed to persuade someone today that the meandering, spidery varicose vein on my right knee is an abstract tattoo. I’m buzzing.

M’collegaue has once again opened up a two year lead on the back straight. Many happy returns to the absolute best man Sir Stephen Fry

Herding sheep is surprisingly close to snooker. The ewe’s retreat describes an almost perfect Newtonian reaction to you, the cue ball - until she reaches the pocket, and suddenly skips sideways into the river.

I’m no judge - of anything at all - but I think Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s Long Island Compromise might be a masterpiece.

Terrific piece from Ian Dunt on the creeping bossiness that threatens whatever it was we thought we stood for. tiny.cc/a36kzz.

Ex-fucking-quisite…

I was lucky enough to spend some time with James Earl Jones. He was everything you might have hoped, and a fair bit more. Wise, kind, funny, impossibly handsome, with a voice that could have crumbled the walls of Jericho. It was such an honour.

If you don’t speak Rugby, this will be baffling. If you do, you will recognise it as one of the greatest passages of play in the history of the game. Japan, offered repeated chances to tie with South Africa, risk it all in the final minutes. WC 2015 youtube.com/watch?v=RgxoGM…

If Ben Elton is offering his wares within your catchment area, I beg you to go. Partake. Laugh like a happy drain.

The footage from the eastern seaboard is just horrific. American Red Cross is one immediate option, but perhaps you know of others?

Is there any way of giving to an organization without having to surrender your address, phone number, blood type, star sign etc?

Physicists, I beg you: I mix a martini in a shaker, with ice. The ice melts, the internal volume reduces (so I was told long ago), but then the top of the shaker pops off, as if from excess pressure. What gives?

Thank you all. Meta analysis indicates that air and vodka expand further and faster than ice contracts as it melts. To your good health.

Someone - and I wish I could remember who - once said that it’s much easier to trick a person than to persuade them that they’ve been tricked.

My advice, for what it’s worth: try not to be distracted by the faintly discourteous, the mildly incompetent, the harmlessly obnoxious. Roll with the delayed trains, dropped litter and misused apostrophes. Save your powder for the truly malevolent creatures now stalking the land.