Tony Blair with the hair of David Pleat.

Scarista Post Office, Isle of Harris. 2.30am, December 22nd, 2010

This bloke in a glittery gold suit has started a quiz on our train. The prizes: a chomp, an M&S flapjack, and a scotch egg. The carriage is RAPT.

When we bring back sport can we start with this one because I have no idea what it is but it’s AMAZING

@jfpenman Iain Martin Agreed. #respect

Congratulations and good luck @rodneysneijder at Dundee United FC #brother❤️ #newclub #scottishfootball

Whoever said that mankind was bound by the limits of ones own reason ain't ever sipped champagne on a plane whilst arguing with t-pain

What idiot called it a Tanning Salon and not a Ray Parlour?

I'd like to apologise to the lady I just called by mistake saying 'Hello, is this planet Earth?' - not a prank call...just a wrong number!

BREAKING NEWS: More than 10 ATM raids across east coast of Scotland in recent months. Shoot out in Arbroath the dramatic culmination?

@HelpMeGumtree Think I've found a bug between website and android app. How do I report it?

@HelpMeGumtree I can login on website, but using same credentials, app reports that details are not correct & can't login.

@HelpMeGumtree Looks like I have.

@HelpMeGumtree No luck, I'm afraid. "please enter valid email address and password".

@InfinitiGlasgow When will the QX30 be in showroom?

I picked a bad day to give up glue...

Not saying things are bad but Tony Blair spotted heading for Westminster with a roast chicken and a fishing-rod...

@UKMeteorNetwork How is this tracked?

What colour should crisp packets be? This might be the most fun I've had writing for YouGov yougov.co.uk/news/2016/10/2…

This is the finest take on the election I've seen. x.com/shvartacus/sta…