Well, I was today years old when I learned it's "never" ok to use the term "water buffalo-esque" when complimenting a friend's wife.

Sometime last year I developed the hottest take ever. I’m talking nuclear. Every couple of months I enter the encryption key, look at it, and decide if the world is ready yet. Unfortunately, today, the groundhog still sees his shadow.

WKUK Twitch update! There will be NO NEWSBOYZ this FRIDAY! NEWSBOYZ Season 2 Episode 1 will be NEXT FRIDAY August 6th! Please update your work schedule's with your employer to accommodate.

When I was a kid we ONLY talked about bazookas and Lamborghini’s and Jose Canseco. Nowadays kids just spend all day downloading new sex bracelets and cancelling each other for not twerking “Gucci” enough. Sad.

The cops in this town hate heartthrobs with big ideas!

I will still always love this.

Just red-pilled the shit out of everyone at Sur La Table.

I did the classic “Do you like abc food?” bit tonight and everyone at dinner pretended they didn’t see me do it.

“Get Low” by Lil Jon is better than any book or movie.

Very cool! Excited to see what the government will do with these little guys!!!

Had a great time talking with Judy Gold ! Check out part 1!

I almost felt bad for the Royal Family. But then I remembered it would have been nice to actually see Epstein go to trial.

I've said it before and I'll say it again... JEOPARDY SHOULD BE HOSTED BY A RABID SQUIRREL SUSPENDED ABOVE THE ROOM BY A HALF FILLED HELIUM BALLOON! AS AIR CURRENTS DRIFT HIM AROUND THE STUDIO, CONTESTANTS MUST KEEP THEIR COOL + ANSWER QUESTIONS WHILE DODGING HIS LETHAL BITES!

Thanks to @FutureReunionTour for the logo!

Some of y’all ain’t even LOOKING for Kony. Smdh.

Martin Scorsese and James Gunn should just fuck already.

UPDATE! SHOW WILL BEGIN 1 HOUR LATER THAN USUAL! 11pm EST/ 8PM PST

T Minus 2 hours. The Legend Continues…