know your place clanker

if you know 1 romance language you know them all

[seeing a crying baby] do you want a cigarette

oomf is very fascinating and needs to be studied

fireman: good news is you’re gonna make it. bad news is your face is gonna need several reconstructive surgeries me: i wasn’t even in the fire

why am i shadow banned bro? i used to get 50k likes on a single tweet

the barista that smiles at you. the cashier that flirts with you. the gf that loves you. life is beautiful. never kill yourself

it's insane how the only real people on this app are anonymous racists

people took "you shouldn't be the smartest person in the room" way too seriously and now there are only dumb people in the room

the only reason your hands are clean is because your whorehouse also does manicures

every brown boy has a wigger friend who wants to hook up with brown girls

*lights cigarette* yeah, i had a viral tweet once. i had it all. the retweets. the groupies. everything. Then BOOM! Next day, it was gone.

only gambling October didn't really amount to much for me

as a normie they tried to convince me that quantum computing was a big deal

i know 26 is fairly young but in a much realer sense its like having one foot in the grave

Nietzsche is basically your stereotypical bitter, lonely loser who thinks the reason they didn't succeed in life is because they are too deep for everyone around them to understand the difference is he was the only one in history who was actually right about that

i'll just kill myself then