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Your body count is the number of people you’ve gotten into birding

I’m not autistic but when I worked fine dining I had this thing where if I didn’t know what to say I’d ask myself what a cartoon butler would say in that scenario and it worked really well

Once you find the right SSRI

happy mozzarella sticks day to those who celebrate

my future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife…but the seeds of discontent are there

my untimely passing will send ripples thru the salt and vinegar chip industry. there will be many chip tycoons at my funeral

“It’s called Virgin River, Liz. I play Mellora Virgin, a lady fishing captain who falls in love with her cousin”

Every time this comes up I feel the need to shout that this was almost my legal name.

I have learned there's a person on the current season of Love Island who keeps using the term "escape goat" to refer to a kind of exit strategy, like a goat that you hop on and ride out of a difficult situation. Not sure why everyone isn't talking about this

This is how your email finds me

Not I am a big fan of SNL, but this was one of their best skits ever from about a decade ago 👇😂

People who actually choose not to have children understand the gravity and work that is needed in being a great parent

someone pls inform higher ed

Deleting the apps so I can meet someone the old-fashioned way (adopted as a foundling by a landowning family on a remote Yorkshire moor)

wake up babe another thing I’m going to start saying regardless of whether or not the people around me understand the context

I yearn

Thank you Lloyd :( for interviewing me and thank you to Poetry Daily for featuring my work!

No I checked