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How does a comedian Johnny Beehner living in Madison, who has three kids, and a love of fast food, stay in shape? #daveanddorene on.soundcloud.com/amb4U

Seeing the Paw Patrol movie tomorrow night. Don’t tell my kids.

🚀FRIDAY at Bar Lubitsch! An absolute chef's kiss of a stand-up show. (((Nicole Aimée Schreiber))) Peet Guercio Johnny Beehner @LeresaTee Durojaye Enitan Andy C. Rider Grant Gordon Emily Walsh Comedy Bureau Get tickets: jetbook.co/e/jetpack-come…

Comin to the Caravan! #Louisville

Dear hotels, Let’s stop putting mirrors on bathroom doors facing the toilet. It was kinda eye-opening in my younger, more curious days. I’m over it now. Love, Johnny

There’s got to be at least 2 snowflakes that are the same. There’s way too many for them ALL to be different. I mean, come on!

No social media post has ever made me change the way I look at time, money, or parenting. #33rdSeoulMusicAwardsinBKK

#chiefs #SuperBowlLVIII

Someone should make a gif of Chewbacca having sex with snuffleupagus.

I’m not proud of all my tweets.

you ever think you just came up with the funniest bit ever, and so you run it by one friend and based on their reaction, you decide that you made a mistake trying to make a living as a comedian?

Aw man. I love ya, Kwik Trip , but ya burned me today. I ALWAYS get my creme-filled long john, but today someone put a regular one on the creme-filled shelf. My friday is ruined. 😔

Eat today how you want to shit tomorrow.

Not for long, my friend.

Wait a minute, Kamala’s mom’s name is Shamala?? That is pretty funny.

“Didn’t you guys used to have a hot tub?” “Nope. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

FRIDAY, Oct 25 @ 8pm 😆👏🤣 😂Comedian Johnny Beehner with 😂Host Zach Favorite Johnny Beehner Zach Favorite 😂👉2️⃣1️⃣21 or older to drink 😂👉👉1️⃣7️⃣17 or older to attend 🎟️👇aztecshawneetheater.ticketspice.com/comedy-night-1… 😂Comfy theater seats, full bar 🍺🥤& snacks🍿🍫 in lobby #LIVEcomedy #shawneeks

Taco Bell’s chili cheese burritos are 2nd to none

I’m a shrinker, not a stinker.

My penis fell off today. I’m serious.