Every day I wake up excited for what kind of poop my butt will bring to the day

I didn’t feel well and he made me soup. ~a love story

If I were eating pickles from a small bowl right in front of me, one would logically assume those were my personal pickles, no? And someone grabbing and eating one of said pickles would be strange, yes?

“I went to a party where this one dude brought a mountain of cocaine” smh Americans will use anything but the metric system

my therapist told me that "adulting" isn't about having a perfect routine, it’s about getting good at comforting yourself

Sunday evening, he meets her in the library, her favorite flowers trembling in his hands. Surrounded by stories that endured centuries, they kiss as if theirs could too.

Yeah it's Monday, but if it makes you feel any better we're all just animals living on rocks in chaos

Being desired and being valued are not the same thing.

I don't think you ladies realize how handsome my mom tells me I am.

Starting the day off right with several heavy sighs

Every load of laundry is just a missing sock documentary

I can actually see your words being misspelled as you're speaking to me

I once watched two bots fall in love in the comments. It was beautiful

gray sweatpants are boy lingerie

Dang you guys don’t wanna see a super cool thing :/

No one: No one: My kid: What’s the color of denim?

so August was really just 3 days long

I’m really starting to think that nothing beats a Jet2 holiday

Maybe instead of telling someone she looks tired we try telling her to take a break because she deserves it. I bet she’d like that.

people look at photos of me and say “you’re so photogenic” but they have this incredulous tone so obviously I’m interpreting that as “you’re so ugly irl, how do you look so good in pictures?!”