Had an amazing time cooking up some heat with this very talented brother right here Jordan Schmidt #nashville #floridageorgialine instagram.com/p/BwhUsMiHjan/…

What does it mean when you disagree with every nutritional facts serving size amount?

I wanna open a boutique sock store called ‘socks 5th ov’

Paper straws are the paper straws of life

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?" " Yes, we arson."

A rare animal that cries like a man was found in Arabian peninsula. They used to believe that the cry was of the dead souls from the graves until they found it crying. 👇🏼

Uber Snark in Nashville would kill it, then go out of business immediately

Comments on pornhub should be called cumments

Did you ever fly private if you didn’t post 20 photos throughout the entire year about it? #nothingprivateaboutthatONEflight

A BROADWAY SHOW ABOUT A PIZZERIA AND THEY MAKE ACTUAL PIZZAS ONSTAGE AND SERVE THEM TO THE AUDIENCE AND THE PIZZA IS SO DELICIOUS BUT THE SHOW IS GODAWFUL AND SO IT CLOSES BUT SOMEONE BUYS THE THEATER AND TURNS IT INTO A PIZZA RESTAURANT AND THEN THEY DO A BROADWAY SHOW ABOUT IT.

How come they can make paper cups that don’t fall apart in under 2 minutes but not straws? MAKE THE STRAWS OUT OF THE CUPS WHAT ARE YOU DOING SCIENCE

when you try pulling the hotel blanket from where it’s tucked

Rodeo coming out July 12th hit that retweet 🔥🔥

It gets harder and harder staying up till midnight on The 4th of July but you gotta do it!!!!

Also a HUGE thank you and congratulations to HARDY, Devin Dawson and Jordan Schmidt!!!! You guys are incredibly talented writers.

If it’s called the pointer finger because we point a lot, it could also be called your booger finger

I bet even Reagan hates Reagan National Airport

“We’ll do a round of surf and turfs for the the table” - things you hear at a country club