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Great world series!!! Great teams = clutch hits. #lanceberkman

Where is yadier molina's bass clef tattoo? #hiddentattoos

I lost my pedometer #Ilostmyreasontowalk

Dear adult trick-or-treater, Get a job and go buy your own candy. #halloweenfreeloaders

Washing a load of towels is admitting you don't really know how to shower. #thingsilearnedincollege

If Texans trade for Tim Tebow would all of the injured players be healed?

1st rule of jeep ownership- know weather report before going to sleep with top off

In 36 years, Amy and I will celebrate 50 years of marriage. Today we'll be happy with 14.

Congratulations to Spring Woods High School teacher Ryan Beeler from Spring Branch ISD, this year's Rising Star Secondary winner! #EIE2023 #HEBEducation #HEBExcellence

Congratulations to @springwoodshigh principal Jennifer Collier from Spring Branch ISD, this year's Principal Secondary winner! #EIE2023 #HEBEducation #HEBExcellence

Procrastination Disorder - I have it! I meant to tweet this two days ago, but I put it off. #writethepapersoon

Help us end #LRA violence. Visit kony2012.com to find out why and how. @RepKayGranger join us for #KONY2012

watch this video vimeo.com/invisible/kony… will be the best 30 minutes you spend this week.

For all those wondering, I did not, I repeat did not win the mega millions

If you happen to find yourself attacked by two great white sharks, you might consider finding a new hobby. #iescapedjaws #spawnofjaws

I laugh every time the seal crawls across the bottom of the tv. #SharkWeek #spawnofjaws #imisssnuffy

Shark drones? only on shark week #sharkpocalypse

Really impressed w youth staff @Chapelwood UMC in Houston, TX...honored to speak at their Confident Parenting seminar. Gracious hospitality!

Got to officiate a very important wedding. #boxpastor #BoxAndTheFox

🚨 SUPER SURPRISE GIVEAWAY! 🚨 RETWEET this by 12pm CT for a chance to win a pair of tickets to tonight's ALCS Game 1! #EarnHistory