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You know how you pray that you get into a horrible accident so you don’t have to go to your day job? Oh what? Oh fuck oh shit

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Been crushing wordle. Been crushing connections. Wife won’t talk to me since she saw me loose that Bjj tournament. Watching a lot of YouTube.

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Making a show about candy.

if anyone wants to drug me and kidnap then murder me this is the best chance you’ve got all week

Would have such a hard time in any other country. 99¢ for a 44oz Diet Coke. Imma wreck two of these today. Told my Slavic friend and he said I would develop some sort of Diet Coke allergy. He had Diet Coke everyday for a year when he moved here now he can’t enjoy these.

I like the army does this “king for a day” style work out where some of the boys carry one like a pharaoh. I would be great at that role.

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Childlike - baby brain - toddler logic

Cory booker needs to do another filibuster

Prank called this guy a few years ago dude talked to me for 9 minutes

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My man getting his cock rated by ChatGPT. How you gonna tell me not to eat seed oils when ChatGPT rating your cock.

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