If he can do better than "Obama Care" then what is he waiting on? Godot? #Debatenight #Debate2024 #debate

Kamala Connects - The Dance You Do When You KNOW You Won the Debate #Debate2024

I'm hungry and I haven't done any food shopping. Hmm... where's my cat? #Debate2024

I have a stand-up comedy show coming up. It's gonna be great. I have some concepts.

The former president has a more detailed Day One plan for vengeance than for healthcare.

After P Diddy's arrest, an accountant at Johnson & Johnson might be thinking, "So *that's* why we had a great quarter." #BabyOil

Apparently nothing lasts forever except forever chemicals and everyone's memory of the time you had broccoli stuck in your teeth.

I'm hosting a Comics for Kamala benefit at Stand Up NY on Saturday October 5th with an insanely funny lineup: Negin Farsad Chuck Nice VeryFunnyLady Calvin S. Cato & Mehran Khagani! comicsforkamala.com/#/events/117630

I remember when the biggest NYC mayoral scandal was Bill de Blasio eating pizza with a fork.

My Condolences to House Gryffindor.

Um... the experts didn't advocate moving jobs overseas, corporate execs did. #VPDebate2024

If the road to an affordable america is through racism, sexism, and ablism then we can't afford it. #VPDebate2024

For safety and accountability, perhaps there should be a national sperm registry. #VPDebate2024

Abortion isn't just a women's issue, it's healthcare... and how politicians deal with their pregnant mistresses. #VPDebate2024

Whew suh! The Coach just gave The Couch an ACA history lesson. #VPDebate2024

JD Vance says a whole lot of nothing. He should be a politician. Oh wait. #VPDebate2024

He peacefully gave up power? He basically fomented a coup, flew off in huff, and had a four-year legal tantrum. #VPDebate2024

I bet Donnie is mad that JD didn't intentionally mispronounce Kamala's name. #VPDebate2024

I think we're gonna need a Ken Burns documentary on Diddy.

When a country tells you what it is, believe it.