They probably can’t figure out when their last pearl necklace happened.

🎶Well, you wake up in the mornin' You hear the work bell ring And they march you to the table You see the same old thing Ain't no food upon the table And no pork up in the pan But you better not complain, boy You get in trouble with the man

What we really need to know about the Chicago pope is Cubs or White Sox?

Now that we have a Chicago pope, I suggest Butkus for sainthood.

😎

PSA: don’t clean the lint trap with wet fingers

Walnut Ridge, AR has the cutest cop I’ve ever seen. She’s a 10, and she has her own handcuffs.

Granting birthright citizenship to illegal aliens is unlawful and it has contributed to the highest levels of illegal immigration in history. President Trump is right to call to end this farce.

🎶 Mac the Kabar caught a nanny goat To make pretty baby a Sunday coat Mac the Kabar caught a bearcat To make pretty baby a Sunday hat.

“One mistake made many years ago. The quintessential fuck-up that became a singular regret. Can’t go back in time to change it in order to prevent the misery that followed. I lived it alone so I’ll carry it alone. And that’s the sad awful truth which will damn me.” - DKMc

A 10 is just a 9 who swallows. Or so I've been told.

Always get sterile earplugs. Because if they ever start to breed, you’ll have them coming out your ears.

Another judge just blocked the revocation of student visas, which is a function that is literally reserved for the Secretary of State and the executive branch, and these judges are going to completely destroy the judicial system and when it goes up in flames, I don’t wanna hear

A few wee drops of the creature would help this work day go faster.

This is 💯 accurate, bunch of soft bastards🤣🤣🤣

Just grilling in the rain. What you doing?

Charlie Alpha Tango chilling on the pool floaty.

Being an old man pretty well covers it.