Everybody wanna be thick til it’s 85 degrees out!!!

If you’re a lil thicky, you’re gonna be a lil sticky!!!

Idk how or why but the mirror in the accessible bathroom on the first floor of my job’s building makes me look like a goddess in a way I have never been able to replicate in any other setting

Ok so today I womansplained the MLB pitch clock to a man and I gotta say it felt pretty nice. I see why you guys do this!!!

Viernes pero a que costo

I’m just saying that if they made birth control in gummy form like they do vitamins I would NEVER forget

IF I SAY GOOD MORNING I BETTER HEAR IT BACK

Dogs acquired through unclear circumstances>>>

This is going to be controversial but I need to break my silence. I tried shrimp again the other day just to see if I finally liked them and they are not what y’all say they are. Those little sea roaches have the texture of hard jello and y’all can keep ‘em

I mentioned Kawhi Leonard was attractive once and now every time he plays it’s “there goes your boyfriend”

There is an actual form on a government website where you can turn in your neighbors for being transgender for investigation by the lead prosecutor. Do you not see where this is going?

Only the all-white geese with orange/yellow beaks are silly geese. Canada geese are very serious.

This is like if the 12-year-old version of me was talking to the current version of me

Embarrassed Man Accidentally Says ‘Hello’ To Coworker Instead Of ‘I Feel Like Crying All The Time’ bit.ly/3oMm32q

When you’re the only one to order alcohol at a restaurant and everyone else orders cokes AND/OR being the only one to order a coke when everyone else orders water

Who cares!!! It’s fun!!! It’s cool!!!

They literally INVENTED looting LMFAO