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At long last! More Spartacus: House of Ashur news! Thanks to Entertainment Weekly for the lovely interview! ew.com/spartacus-hous…

The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it. Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.

My new job tried to sign me up for a 401k, but I declined. There’s no way I could run that far.

This week’s work

This is perhaps the best thing produced by the internet in recent history

What do you call a red headed baker? A gingerbread man.

I spent $80 on a belt that didnt fit. My wife said it was a huge waist.

Distinguished gentleman waiting for breakfast..🐈🐾😅

Standards. Good to have them.

I survived another year. Please clap. ..there's cake. 🎂

Top sex capitals in the United States: Climax, NC Bangor, ME Intercourse, PA Washington, DC if you feel like getting screwed…

In my many years on this planet I've learned one very important lesson that I'm going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You cannot eat her fries.

Happy Birthday to our scha·den·freu·de ! 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂

Friend: "What are those things you blow to make a wish?" Me: "Sugar Daddies?"

My wife bought a new bra, it's really hard to unhook. I don't know why I put it on in the first place.

When two people have sex, its a twosome. When three people have sex, its a threesome. Now I know why people call you handsome.

tried to convince my ex-wife to name one of our son's Lightbulb slept on the couch that night she didn't think it would be funny when all her friends complained about their lightbulbs needing to be replaced after they blew them... #DocAfterDark

The man who wrote the hokey Pokey recently died peacefully. The trauma started when they tried getting him in his coffin. they put his left leg in... and then the trouble started...