Thrass is very excited to be staying up for the results

Nadine Dorries is vapid on an almost eldritch scale

I’m afraid there are no more votes

“Nadine, you are funny” is my personal highlight of this campaign. You’re so right Emily, she is funny

One thing that’s so striking about elections is the way news anchors talk about the monarch’s role in the whole government thing like it’s a charming and perfectly normal quirk rather than an immoral aberration that had no place in the 19th century let alone now

I actually do think the restriction on those heading up departments having to be active politicians is a bad thing, so I don’t really mind conferring peerages on people who are actually immersed in the work their department will be doing That said, Jacqui Smith is baffling 😬

Does seem like an awful lot of Labour ministers have worked out that it’s a good idea not to make civil servants absolutely detest you

This is, obviously, morally repugnant but I’m seeing a lot of people say that she has tanked her leadership bid before it’s even began, and I suspect they are vastly overestimating the Tory party

Among the many surprising developments of adult life, thinking literally every day about the orbital sander I *didn’t* buy from Lidl last year is the most surprising Why didn’t I buy that orbital sander

I genuinely strongly believe news apps, especially the BBC, shouldn’t be allowed to do push alerts for any sports. If I gave a toss I’d be watching

I genuinely believe that if you use your phone during a movie, you are a bad person

I need the most dynamic camera movement you have No, that’s too dynamic

I see that once more you have all decided to throw a sporting event without my approval

Controversial take but, even if this money wasn’t recouped elsewhere, I personally don’t think it’s outrageous for government to spend money enriching the cultural lives of its citizens and £40,000 is worth spending to make 40,000 people happier