wonder what kind of prizes I can win by playing this stupid game

Living in Texas is weird bc people will ask if I want to go to CFA and I’ll get excited but then I realize they mean chick-fil-a and not the Center for Fine Arts 🫠

Given this account a lot of flack before but credit where credit is due, this is undoubtedly a fact

After observing data my prior over the depth of this rabbit hole has shifted to put *significantly* more mass in the negative tail

If people think Severance is a mind f*ck just wait till they see Portrait of a Lady on Fire..

What was, in prehistoric times, the excitement of showing a new berry to your clan is, in modern times, the thrill of explaining inside jokes to listeners who are new to the pod

Most of the time I'm perfectly content with my career decisions. But every once in a while, after responding to a particularly tedious student email, I wonder what my life could have been if I didn't give up on my hoop dreams

Worst part of the airport is the feeling that there’s an American Airlines Admirals Club, and everyone’s in it but you

Assuming general equilibrium effects are small enough to be ignored is so unbelievably funny when setting macroeconomic policy

World’s most savage social security number: 420-69-8008 😂😂😂😂

can't even speed anymore because the f*****g fascists over at State Farm have me enrolled in the Drive Safe and Save™️ surveillance program

Whenever a dumb internet meme happens there’s always some Serious News Outlet posting an article with an “expert explanation” as if who would win in a fight between a hundred men and a gorilla is a real thing you can have expertise in

As a culture it feels like we've low-key forgotten about Benghazi

My damn caged bird will not stop f****ng singing and literally no one I've talked to knows why

Logging back onto twitter \\ Man this shit has me so bitter \\ Industry fucked up like a street filled with litter ...

My lips take from the water fountain only what they need and return the rest to the basin so my community may partake as well

For the haters watching: H-index is now at two (2). Take a wild guess at how many meaningful interactions I've had with my students....

Love the way you lie — Eminem & Rihanna 🔥

Weird that my body has to shower once a day but my teeth have to shower twice

Obviously new BLS pick is unqualified, but at the same time if you told me that all I had to do to lead a major government agency was support the president online you would basically never find me off Truth Social