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my girlfriend's not much of a looker...she ain't looked at me in a while

Cadburys say "there's a glass and a half in everyone"...which explains why i was pulled over in the airport

Deaf deaf are the IDF Deaf to the words of Jesus

i did a gig in front of dogs...at the end i came back on to take a bow wow

i have never seen a mexican hairless dog in the flesh...it was wearing a wig

when it comes to all the Star Wars films and tv there is really only one choice : And/Or

whoever hacked Elmo's account must have been a muppet

i know that Portugal football colours are those of Robin the boy wonder...but this is ridiculous

there's this theory that John Lennon was actually gay, just cos he was raised on Menlove avenue

my girlfriend and i aren't physically demonstrative...the last time we hugged it was just before the referee separated us

i once put my foot in my mouth...luckily i was wearing an irish brogue at the time

the unluckiest tennis player, he defended 3 match points from the tramlines, and then got knocked down by a tram

there's always time to change the road you're on...there's no two ways about it

there was no episode of Any Answers on Radio 4 the other day, as the programme preceding it, Any Questions, was all rhetorical

fasting goes so slowly

turns out my lasagne has antediluvian strata...

Wrexham welsh comedy on7th august

'i am nothing else than evolution become conscious of itself'...amazing the thoughts one gets while crapping

i used to think altitude sickness was the same as getting high