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she asked “is it big” and i said “no bigger than the agate stone on the forefinger of an alderman”

do you ever have the thought “i’d like a beer” but then you take a second and realize what you actually want is the tender love of a beautiful woman

Grandma’s always say stuff like “the grip of death reaches for me, and every day closer it’s grip comes” followed by “Sundays are nice”

My pick for The Ticket Seattle to catch Dan Donohue at the Here-After (in the Crocodile multi-plex) this Friday 12/8. theticket.seattletimes.com/top-picks/dan-…

Catch Dan Donohue at Rick Bronson's House of Comedy in Phoenix! 📸 @notbaddon 🗓 March 14-16, 2024 📍 Phoenix, AZ

Low Crime Threshold or High Crime Threshold?

Dark side of therapy

🎙️| Dan Donohue sits down with Dorian Electra to discuss their desire to fall back in love with music. They also discuss Dans stint as Dorians personal trainer and Dorians facination with a Willy Wonka based scam. Watch here! youtu.be/sqBK1Hnpqrc?si…

go watch the pod 😭

my girlfriend cheated on me with a pilot and i guess i have a bad imagination, because the worst i could imagine was “taller guy” not “man with unlimited access to the sky”

It’s weird, i’m austin all the tech guys wear cowboy hats, but when you shoot at them they seem to have no idea what to do. what’s wrong cowpokes? shaky with your iron?

it’s so weird people never connect the dots that if you talk bad about the person you’re dating it reflects poorly on you. “i’m dating a total looser” well, sounds like you’re perfect for each other

I know so much more about people I talk shit about then people I don't. I'll be like, "oh Jeff, nice guy." "Carl, such an idiot, he just visited his mom in Grand Rapids and saw his childhood friend Amber that went to Arlington Elementary with him and he made an ass of himself"

Chicago!!!! tickets here chicago.zanies.com/show/dan-donoh…

Morning people are always like “i got so much done in the morning” well when it’s 11pm you’re asleep, and you know what i’m doing, drinking alone

Chicago, i’m at Zanies all weekend, i’m not doing a meet and great after but if you want to hang i’ll be popping Benadryl in the ally out back after the show

Comedian @notbaddon has opened for Ryan Hamilton and Norm MacDonald, and appeared on Don’t Tell Comedy. He also hosts the Danswers podcast. Catch him live as he headlines The Plano House of Comedy - October 10-12!

Catch Dan Donohue as he performs at House of Comedy BC! From The Danswers Podcast, The Todd Glass Show, and viral clips online - you can catch Dan at House of Comedy November 7-9! 📸 @notbaddon 🗓 November 7-9, 2024 📍 House of Comedy #vancouver #newwestminster

Edmonton! Catch Dan Donohue from The Danswers Podcast, Don't Tell Comedy viral sensation, and The Todd Glass Show! 📸 @notbaddon 🗓 November 14-16 📍 Edmonton, AB - The Comic Strip #edmonton #yeg #wem #westedmontonmall

Turning economic issues into social issues