🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨 Get to know The Village People 👮‍♂️👷‍♂️ Telegraph posho says kids are destroying the English language 🥱🗯️ Plus – Everyone is listening to crap music on Spotify 🎶🙉 Join Miranda Sawyer Jacob Hawley and Ava-Santina here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨 How did the Papers cover the Southport sentencing? Could The Oscars create further social division in the U.S.? 🇺🇸🎬 Plus – What’s on Goop’s Valentine’s Day gift guide? 🕯️🥚 Join Andrew Harrison Ava-Santina and Marcoooos! here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow

It’s time to fix the headline! The Daily Mirror really tried with this but we know you can do better! Best answers will be read out on Mondays show and the winner gets a T shirt!

A lot of entrants really went down the drain this week, but Helen uncorked the gold! Congrats on being the best punner of the week—check your DMs, and we'll sort out your t shirt!

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨 Gen Z is mad for Bridget Jones! 🩲❤️ Who has the sexiest accent in the UK? 🤔🇬🇧 Plus – The latest revelation from Liz Jones and her awful relationship column! 🕵️💔 Join Miranda Sawyer, Andrew Harrison and the whole gang here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨 Brexit is back...again?🇪🇺👋 Yes, we're doing a deep dive on the fart selfies 😳💨 Plus – Single (mum) and loving it! ❤️‍🔥🍼 Join Miranda Sawyer @jonnelledge and Jessica Fostekew here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow

It’s time to fix the headline! The Star says midlife crises are obsolete, but their headline is more tragic than a dad at Glastonbury in skinny jeans. Reckon you can do better? Drop your entries below, and the best one will win a Paper Cuts T shirt.

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨Inside Starmer's European jolly 🇬🇧🇪🇺 Do you want a MAGA makeover? 🇺🇸💇🏼‍♀️ Plus – The Mail wants to ban men from the gym 🚫💪🏼 Join Miranda Sawyer Coco Khan and Jacob Hawley here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow

And we have our winner! Congrats, Jacqueline! You’ve officially peaked – no need for hot yoga or a Ferrari now.

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨How do you solve a problem like Stagflation? 💸👎 Elvis Presley: demigod messiah from Jupiter? 👽👑 Plus – Who even has time to practice self care? 🧘🛀🏻 Join Miranda Sawyer jonn elledge is mainly on bluesky and Jacob Hawley here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow

It’s time to fix the headline. Hilda had a banging rave in her care home for her birthday but The Mirror’s headline is drier than a Rich Tea biscuit. Reckon you can do better? Drop your entries below, and the best one will win a Paper Cuts T-shirt!

Don’t forget to get you fix the headline entries in.

And we have a winner! Commiserations to the 36 of you who suggested One Foot in the Rave. It was a great suggestion, but we had to deduct points for originality.

Doctor doctor, give me the news, I've got a bad case of . . . sub standard headlines. The NHS is dishing out sex tips but their headline hasn't broken our funny bone. Reckon you can do better? Drop your entries below, and the best one will win a Paper Cuts T-shirt!

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨 BAFTA Bonanza 🎬🏆 What will happen to the boomers' cash?💰👴🏻 Plus – Should we all aspire to be kept women?💅🏼🤑 Join Miranda Sawyer @miss_zing and Jacob Hawley here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨 What’s next for Ukraine after Zelenskyy’s disastrous meeting with Trump? 🇺🇸🇺🇦 Revenge of the grumpy middle aged men👴🏻😡 Plus – Everyone is mad about lambs 🐑😍 Join Miranda Sawyer @jonnelledge @jasonhazeley here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨 The latest from Trump Land 🇺🇸🤬 Meghan's candles and balloon arches have enraged the usual suspects 🎈🕯️ Plus – Who will you find hanging around outside the stage door? 🚪😱 Join Miranda Sawyer Jacob Hawley and Coco Khan here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow

🚨NEW EPISODE🚨 The Daily Mail's Liz Truss kiss and tell 🤢🗞️ Gossip is good now, actually 🤫😈 Plus – Knives out, chefs are getting revenge 👨‍🍳🔪 Join Miranda Sawyer, Natasha Devon & Gráinne Maguire here: linktr.ee/papercutsshow