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When the first pyramid was complete, Imhotep looked upon his subjects and declared “ok now get five of your friends to make one.”

Hoping that this autumn the government will finally have the courage to criminalize me getting diarrhoea.

Children are the adults of babies

everyone involved in this deserves an oscar

"You either die a good, or live long enough to see yourself become a rotten" - Egg

Nadhim Zahawi is like the kid in your primary school who was fined £4.8m for tax evasion

The man looked at the sandwich lunchily

THERE WILL BE FILM is hitting Top Secret Comedy Club tomorrow! We’ve got the incredible Harriet Kemsley Patrick Spicer Alexandra Haddow + Ray Badran w/ team captains Heidi Regan + Stuart Laws Tickets: thetopsecretcomedyclub.co.uk/events-listing…

wanted to share this very emotional experience I had

MAINSTREAM MUCK (gimme some of that) is coming to the Soho Theatre 2 nights only! 6th/7th March. Please help spread the word with a RT or by Reccomeneding it to a friend. \m/

Don't miss Heidi at Soho!

If you wanna come see me LIVE check out my website!👇You can also sign up to my mailing list if you want me to come TO YOU or if you wanna stay at home I'm releasing a full comedy special VERY soon so you can subscribe on YouTube to see it first 😎 patrickspicer.com

Cancel your weekend plans, I made a comedy special!! And you can watch it RIGHT NOW on YouTube! 🥳👇🥳👇 youtu.be/GPBoq-pAlfo?si… via YouTube