One time I told my public defender if I could I’d do it again, she said whatever you do don’t say that in court.

Tomorrow catch Return Of The Deadass Half 8pm Friends and Lovers We all do 30min sets and it’ll be great promise, also wear a costume!!

tis the szn.

So he got his dick sucked to the bone by a trans bitch and he enjoyed it right caaauuse

Tonight 6PM PT! Join us for the #premier of The Comedy Lab on 17LIVE US Hosted by @ZillaVodnas Featuring marcus ツ Petey DeAbreu Anthony Kapfer KyleMarian 🇵🇭🌏 Help support the show by downloading the app here comedyhublive.com/17LiveApp #Livestream #Comedy #Standup #17Live

If you in nyc this week come see me cook shit.

TONIGHT! New York Comedy Festival Presents Dan + Joe + DVD Show with Dan Licata & Joe Pera! Featuring: ∙ @Gertie_Bird ∙ Petey DeAbreu ∙ @joecastlebaker Plus, they'll be debuting a new episode of Joe Pera Talks With You! 7pm Doors・7:30pm Show Tickets & Details: bit.ly/3CdL8Fd

Headlining this week is .. Nov 18-21 #Minneapolis | SOON: Petey DeAbreu Nov 26-28 #bloomington #bloomingtonmn | Josh Blue Dec 2-4 #twincities #minneapolis | View our full calendar here: ecs.page.link/7baiE

TONIGHT: THE 15TH ANNUAL 50 FIRST JOKES! Hosted by @TheRealJFOD Featuring @AlisonLeiby @AndreaComedy J.P. McDade @iamryanbeck Chanel Ali charlie Sam Taggart Rojo Perez Petey DeAbreu & more! 7PM Doors・8PM Show *Very* Limited tickets left! 🎟️: bit.ly/3oVXsoZ

FRI 4/15: Petey DeAbreu presents: Bodega N-Word, Supermarket World - Reporting to you live from the corner store comes Petey DeAbreu with a new hour of stand up! Featuring special guest Dee Nasty! 🎟: bit.ly/3IXPQJQ

This week, you have *two* chances to see Petey DeAbreu, Emmy Blotnick, and @AlisonLeiby coheadline Union Hall on Wednesday 4/6 and Thursday 4/7! Hand-picked by ilana glazer! Tickets & Details: bit.ly/3NKziZb

Tomorrow night (and Thursday!), Emmy Blotnick, Petey DeAbreu, and @AlisonLeiby coheadline Union Hall! Tickets & Details: bit.ly/3NKziZb

We Make It Clap 👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿 join host Matt Richards THIS Friday 4/8, midnight at @thestandnyc We’ve got @theeclarkjones Petey DeAbreu James Davis @langstonkerman & more! $15 tix in the bio, let’s goooooo! instagram.com/p/CcBme82rsZM/…

One week from tonight, Reporting to you live from the corner store comes Petey DeAbreu w/ a new hour of stand up for ya head top! Featuring special guest Dee Nasty! Tickets & Details: bit.ly/3x8Rtlr

I ain’t a killer but don’t push me, my real name is orca don’t mistake me for no pussy. #freewillyshakur

whenever I hear life is short I think why’s this shit taking forever then?

✨𝙏𝙊𝙉𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏!✨ It's the Petey Pop Up /Pop Off show Hosted by local NYC and corner store connoisseur & comedian Petey DeAbreu! Featuring:  Napoleon Emill Dee Nasty durag wearing charizard. + the 3 Piece & a Biscuit Band! 9:30 Doors / 10PM Show 🎟: bit.ly/3G7zb6x

SAT 7/2: Petey DeAbreu: Before Comedy After Crime Petey DeAbreu takes us for a walk through his cantankerous come up growing up in the Bronx and trying to overcome obstacles (crime) along the way to become a comedian. 🎟: bit.ly/3MRFrRM

TONIGHT! “Before Comedy After Crime” written and performed by Petey DeAbreu! Petey’s own story about growing up in the Bronx and trying to overcome obstacles along the way to becoming a comedian. 9:30 Doors / 10PM Show Low Tickets Left! 🎟: bit.ly/3bA0CLj

JUST ANNOUNCED: Petey DeAbreu returns to Union Hall with PART 2️⃣ of his one-man show, Petey DeAbreu: Before Comedy After Crime, on Saturday, August 6th! Tickets on sale now: bit.ly/3Onhcf2