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I love when the salt lake city women are like “we are still very much traumatized from a traumatic experience we went through together” and the traumatic experience is that they met a blogger last year

My haters may never recover from the fact that ive stretched 20 days in a row

“Textasiz” -a real housewife saying the word “texts”

kind of cool how one day I will die and I will have spent hours and hours and hours of my one life on this earth walking around my apartment avoiding opening my laptop to write and I won't get that time back or anything that will just be how I have spent it and that's that

can everyone CC me on all their emails? just want to see how other ppl do it

One of the largest issues facing young people today is that my elbow hurts

I had a nightmare last night about how kristen taekman used to call her husband “playa” as a term of endearment

i dont respect anyone who watches the oscars btw

ugh getting so many e-mails from ppl i said "lets circle back after SNL 50 when things calm down" to

It is day 2 of the 4 months it will ultimately take me to recover from losing the hour of sleep

🎵 🎵 Cause you like my hair, my ripped up jeans, my ugly shirts, my debilitating phone addiction, my car that smells like old milk sometimes even though i’ve never had milk in it, my crusty laptop screen, you like the bad girl i got in me 🎵 🎵

We are the daughters of the business you couldn’t stand on

streaming services don't need to e-mail me when they've "noticed a log-in from a new device." Tell 'em have fun and just lock up before they leave!!!

I embrace nonlinear story telling by never remembering what episode i left off on

I have a headache and am waiting to see how my body responds to experimental treatment (4 ibuprofen)

When a restaurant menu says “sandos” i’m like… how old are we?

if you didn't get chosen to be pope keep making your own stuff, sharing it, and not being afraid to be cringe!

One thing about me is that i always know around what date it is