Unfortunately, diet, exercise, and waking up at the crack of dawn DOES dramatically improve the quality of your life.

It’s been a while…. Hi internet

momcut

So late to it but Designated Survivor 😳

"marketing lessons you can learn from [insert multi-million dollar brand owned by a celebrity here]" they have budget. 🫳🎤

Was at a mall today. The ONLY store employee that spoke to me literally didn’t listen or respond to what I was saying… just gave me the script theyre told. Retail wouldn’t be dead if people knew how to speak to eachother…

How many subtask automations are too many? Asking for a friend…

A cartoon by Edward Steed, from 2014. #NewYorkerCartoons

If baking a cake for a gay couple is endorsing homosexuality, then voting for a pedophile and rapist is endorsing pedophilia and rape

“As we all know, you guys have a lot of male sports fans that listen to your podcast. I think we all know that if there’s one thing that male sports fans want to see in their spaces and on their screens... it’s more of me” — Taylor Swift on the ‘New Heights’ podcast

I really need someone to go through my screenshots and list out all the books I want to read, podcasts I want to listen to, items to put on my wishlist and recipes for P.

Just ordered a laminator. I AM HYPE

Unsure where online I saw give your kid a swiffer, they shorten, but thank you!

“Around the horn” I hate it

Did we work out? No. We taught 3 classes. 😂

Overheard in Palo Alto. CEO: "This copy sucks." CMO: "We fired all our content people and just use ChatGPT now." CEO: "Well, hire them back."

There is NOTHING louder than a crib mattress when you’re sneaking out after putting your baby back to sleep. OMFGG

A mom in a hotel alone has an unmatched energy. We’re rested. We took a bath. We’re drinking hot ass coffee.

My TikTok feed is just dads dancing to Taylor swift with their daughters. Yes, I am crying and laughing. More wholesome internet please.

Dumps out XL boat and tote. Finds: Another tote A backpack 1 pair sun glasses 2 pairs of headphones 2 empty glasses cases 2 pacifiers 3 hair clips 3 items to return 3 pens 4 pouches of goodies 6 pairs of drips socks Endless other things